Good evening dearest blog readers - I do hope you enjoyed your Christmas celebrations and had plenty of snaffling.
All was going well here until I eyed up a juicy turkey leg in the kitchen and I couldn't resist! I crept up commando style zig zagging chair legs, scampering and then being still as a statue. Er turned her back to reach for her Martini Asti & cherries and I leapt!
I flew through the air opening my gnashers wide and sunk um in to the turkey leg silent as a ninja. I volted through the swingy kitchen door and suddenly caught my toe in a wire!
All the fairy lights came crashing down with a flurry of cards and decorations... I wriggled and rolled trying to escape the colourful twinkly lights, the turkey leg still in my chops!
The next thing I know dear readers is I'm being roughly unravelled- it was all paws, teeth n whiskers - the turkey leg was prized from my chops and I was sent on my merry way up the garden path!
(Sigh)... you can't win them all dear friends but the important thing is I tried! I better keep clear of the flat till the dust settles so I'm off up to Windy Ridge to see Deirdre the Goat to see if she is having a happy holiday.
Sleep well in your nesting materials and Ta Ta till next time...
Its Christmas Eve dearest blog readers and I am so excited as the fridge and food cupboards are not echoing with just a few teabags and half a jar of pickled onions but are full of lovely tasty things to snaffle!
'Er what feeds me has been zooming about the flat hoovering and dusting and she's cooking for five tomorrow and that includes little ol' me!
('Er would like to thank my dear follower Mister NetJimbo very much indeed for the scrumptious stash of homemade coconut macaroons...I had a few crumbs...but she wolfed the lot..Oh yes she did!)
I hope Santa Paws visits you all tonight and that everyone has a very Happy Christmas with a big dinner, I've been promised some turkey, peas and gravy if I'm good! Yum Yum.
Sleep snuggled in your nesting materials - Night Night ...
Good evening dearest blog readers....sorry I have been off the whisker waves for a while. The things that happen round here, I was just ambling along home after a plate of kippers and a game of scrabble with Atticus when I was suddenly bowled over by a blur of fast moving black feathers and boggley eyes.
You need to watch your whiskers out there! I scrambled up and looked about all startled, my tail all fluffed up like a bottle brush due to the shock. There before me was one of those dozy Turkeys from the farm that come n go annually...they appear then vanish with just a few feathers fluttering on the wind...(gulp) but it soon became apparent that this Turkey was different from all the others!
For starters he had escaped over several barbwire fences, an electrified fence and scarpered past two gun turrets and some big toothy dogs! I was intrigued and impressed and knew Jemmy Jim Jams the Mafia Godmother was always happy to locate fresh talent!
He apologised for knocking me flying but explained this time of year just ain't the best to be casually pottering along if you are a big fat turkey! He told me he was a Mystic Turkey and had dreamt and predicted a Turkey Massacre. All the other turkeys teased him and continued stuffing their beaks not believing him.....so he decided to leg it ! Its important in our line of business to be good at legging it!
I have hidden Mystic Turkey at Deirdre's the Goats Casino at Windy Ridge as I sensed he may enjoy playing Roulette.
On the way past the Christmas tree plantation I saw Alleron the Mafia Llama supervising our newest recruits - The Morrello Cherry Brothers, who were doing brilliantly with Christmas tree sales for Jemmy Jim Jams Enterprises.
Jemmy has gone to the airport to meet Katya Hopenorf in arrivals from Russia, they are spending Christmas together. I must say, I will be mighty glad for the holiday as I could do with feeding up a bit.
Bless you all especially all the poor panicked souls trying to do shopping for Christmas, watch your whiskers out there! Sleep well in your nesting materials - Taa Taa
Good afternoon dearest blog readers...its been all drama 'ere, put your paws up with a hot cuppa tea and I'll tell you all about it...
I got dragged to the V-E-Ts this week for my annual check up, I was all snoozy n warm after my breakfast and I should have been watching my whiskers when I was suddenly scooped up by 'er what feeds me and I MEEE-OOWEDddddd at full volume all the way to the V-E-Ts and all the way back home. (Hee-Hee!)
I needed to get back didn't I as Jemmy Jim Jams was preparing a Rescue Mission. Mam-Ma Morrello and her three sons were in a whole heap of bunny bumbles up at the Morrello Cherry Ice Cream Factory.
Jem sent Fearless Rat up a drain pipe and along the rafters to find out what was going down and who we were dealing with.
Turns out it's Don 'Sharky the Toof' & Azula the Bamboozler that were holding the Morrello Cherry Family at Gun-point! Mam-Ma Morrello and her boys had been finding business tough going. Mam-Ma was extremely proud and could see the business slowly melting away into a sticky mess and it hurt so bad, she had taken to the Liqueur. In a moment of drunken desperateness she had taken a small crinkly cabbage leaf loan from Don 'Sharky the Toof' to try to rejuvenate the ice-cream business. As with all loan sharks, misery soon came with intimidating threats - they wanted to seize all the Morrello Property if Mam-Ma Morrello and the boys didn't pay off the loan that had been quadrupling by the second!
Luckily as you know, Mam-Ma Morrello had managed to get a SOS message to Jemmy via our own Sebby Coo Coo the Mafia Racing Pigeon.
Well...Jemmy Jims Jams WASN'T HAPPY or HAVING ANY OF THAT!...there's just too many crooks about ain't there!?
The Kit Kat Gang and our friends all gathered for battle. The kittens and the piglet possy wanted to come too but their Godmother Jemmy Jim Jams said it was too dangerous for the little ones. Ronnie & Reggie Piglet were so disappointed to miss out on the rumble they crept round to watch it all kick off from the top of the wall. Can you see them? They're naughty aren't they.
Now I'd like to say dear readers that there was a precise well thought out plan of attack but before Jemmy could tell us what was what, Alleron the Llama had one of his boggle-eyed fits due to all the excitement and began the CHARGE into the factory. Nothing like Surprise Tactics! Tatty tore after Alleron with his pitch fork and I thundered in with my big baseball bat closely followed by everyone else. Sebby Coo Coo swooped over and did a pigeon poo straight in Don Sharky Toofs only good eyeball.
Deirdre the goat - head down - bunted Don Sharky Toof into the air with such force he flew up and fell straight into a massive vat of Mint Choc Chip Ice-cream (my favourite!) Suddenly Azula the Bamboozla set the machine gun off and Jemmy & Gizzy did some kind of Matrix manoeuvre to avoid being peppered with bullets. Petunia lobbed her rolling pin and Paddy swung his cricket bat knocking the machine gun out of Azula the Bamboozlers paws. Alleron who had forgotten his medication had turned crazy n boggle-eyed and booted Azula into the Mint Choc Chip vat too!
I legged it hot paw outside to stop dear ol Atticus blowing up the factory with his intricately wired up Snappsie Bombs and everyone CHEERED!! Mam-Ma Morrello gave Jemmy Jim Jams a huge hug and thanked everyone so much for rescuing her family. Mam-Ma Morrello said it was really time she retired but needed a successor to take over the business. Her boys needed someone with a great business brain so Jemmy did a bunny deal there and then which means we get to eat lots of ice-cream.
With my chops full of minty choc chip, I made an anonymous slurpy chompy phone call to Police Sergeant Wilberforce, I told him his Christmas Present had come early and there were two really nasty crooks for him to bring in from the ice-cream freezer...
Well I do hope you enjoyed that little blog as much as me writing it out, now...you watch out for loan sharks and bamboozlers wont you dear friends and don't have nightmares - sleep well!
Good Evening dearest friends, I do hope you are safe in your nesting materials as tonight is so windy n rainy, it messes up my fur and stripy dramatic presence!
Now, I expect you remember the hoo-haa up at the Christmas Tree Plantation, we had intruders that were scared out of their furry wits and chased off by our very loyal mafia llama Alleron. I suspected the attempted theft must be the work of the Morrello Cherry Brothers who are Mafia too but not on our Manor. They must be mighty hard up to try n nick Jemmy Jim Jam Christmas Tree Stock and suspiciously foolish as nobody in their right state of brain would cross my boss!
So... I did a bit of tabby cat reconnaissance work with my noculars and watched the Morrello Cherry Ice Cream Warehouse to see what they were up to. Mam-Ma Morrello their 'ol mum runs the joint, she's a small brown rabbit but not to be messed with especially when she's working on her ice cream flavours.
I watched for ages only stopping for snaffling. Sebby Coo Coo the Mafia Racing Pigeon flapped on over to see if he could help and I sent him up to a window ledge to do a bit of snooping n beady eyeing of the warehouse. I had him in the sights of my ol noculars when suddenly a fluffy brown paw grabbed him by his little feathery Gregory n snatched him through the bars of the window.
I was shocked I nearly dropped my bacon butty! Poor Sebby Coo Coo, I scrambled down the wall I'd been sitting on and was about to charge in all claws n teeth to get him back when Sebby came dive bombing out the window! He swooped and flapped in an awkward way as a letter had been gaffer tapped to his feathers. He started to plummet down the building and I dived forward and caught him a whisker away from oblivion!
Due to my nursing skills I was able to gently remove the gaffer tape from poor Sebby Coo Coo and could see the letter was for Jemmy Jim Jams and it was marked URGENT.
I legged it hot paw to the Bunny Bunker HQ to deliver the letter to the bunny boss.
It soon was revealed that Mam-Ma Morrello was in a whole heap of bunny bumbles. Ohh yes..dear readers, big bumbles indeed as rival Mafia never communicate by pigeon unless in dreadful peril. The letter said "'elp elp! We bin got at!!" signed Mam-Ma Morrello.
Jemmy wondered if it was a trap at first but the letter had the unique aroma of Morrello Cherry Liqueur which convinced us that it was genuine.
Righty o dear friends, as you can imagine Jemmy has got me rounding up all the KitKat Gang and friends to help rescue Mam-Ma Morrello.
I'll be back soon on the whisker waves to tell you what happens. Until next time, watch your whiskers out there. Taa taa.
Good Evening dearest friends and thank you for popping in to read my little blog, I do hope you are all safe and warm in your nesting materials on this wintery ol' night.
I'm sorry I've been off the whisker waves but it's such a responsibility taking care of everything whilst Jemmy Jim Jams, the Mafia Godmother is away in Russia - I'm cream crackered that's for sure!
Just before Jemmy left for Russia, we were told to knock up some top quality Faberge Eggs for her. I nicked some paint off 'er what feeds me and painted a boiled egg with a big daisy. Gizzy Whizzie stuck milk bottle tops on her egg and Atticus stuck feathers and rice grains to a egg he found up at Tatty Mudflingers Barn. Well dear readers, it was truly a mess and nothing like Faberge Eggs! The ol' rabbit boss looked at our attempts at genuine Faberge up and down and chuntered away looking a bit cheesed off. Never mind, we did try but if you want to cobble together a decent Faberge in this business you need a proper arty fraudster!
Jemmy arrived safely in Russia and met up with her dear friend Katya Hopenorff who is an Olympic ice skater. Jemmy had never been to Russia before so Katya took Jemmy on a bit of sight seeing.
They went to the Ice Skating rink and Jemmy was so happy to see Katya again, they had originally met on the ice in Bracknell a few years ago!
Jemmy was once a brilliant ice hockey player for the Bracknell Bee's but she was a bit put off the game in the end as she kept being thrown into the sin-bin! She's a rough ol bunny but ....she is a Mafia Godmother after all!
Jemmy Jim Jams discovered that Katya Hopenorff was not only very beautiful and a talented ice skater, but she was also in THE BUSINESS....mainly her expertise is jewellery theft..high end, not any ol tut! She also is superb at making genuine Faberge knock offs and Katya made Jemmy go all giddy n weak at the knees!
Jemmy Jim jams had a call from a Russian Collector of Faberge Eggs. One of his best eggs had been nicked!! I know! You can't leave anything without wiring it to the mains these days! The Russian Collector said he had heard about Jemmy and her natural ability to acquire items in a tidy way and employed her to get his stolen egg back.
Katya used her secret intelligence connections to locate the stolen egg which was in a big flashy Russian Mafia Mansion. Under instructions from Jemmy, Katya created an exact replica of the stolen egg - it was perfect!
Jemmy and Katya snook into the Mafia Mansion house all sneaky like, which was seriously daring and dangerous work! They did a switcheroo with the eggs. Katya's knock off work of art was left behind at the mansion - the Russian Mafia would never know they'd got a fake Faberge egg! What an excellent plan! The real egg was then quickly whipped away by Jemmy and given back to the very grateful rich owner!
Jemmy and Katya got a big reward of crinkly cabbage which they split 50-50.
Jemmy is flying home on Sunday so I need to hoover the Bunker and polish the grenades before she gets back. I'm so looking forward to the Christmas holidays so I can put my tabby paws up and relax.
Watch your whiskers out there and sleep well in your nesting materials. Ta Ta