Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Wibberly Wobberly Web

Good evening dear friends ...I do hope you are all tickerty-boo on this wintery ol' night.

Not all of us are well acquainted with the complexities of the technologicals...you know what I'm waffling about, all this smurfling of the wobble you wobble you wobble you. Even your own dear tabby blogger gets into a pickle-muss with the ol' kibble bites, mega bites n what nots.

Today Atticus and I got drafted into The Treacle Mines where 'er what feeds me tries to work. I went armed with a mega-phone and Atticus who is a trained negotiator took tea and coconut macaroons to tempt a peace deal as there were problems with the technologicals.

The Treacle Mine is full of bewildered souls and 'er being more of a outdoor welly boots girlie had been pushed to the edge with the new Big Bruver type sneaky eyeballing monitors.

Atticus waggled n rustled the coconut macaroon packaging and I quickly grabbed the megafone as Jemmy has trained me for this.....



Atticus held the mug of tea up and ' fortunately for everyone including the works PC 'er was drawn away by the macaroons.

The result was, I got my supper on time and all is well now....

Don't have nightmares and sleep well - Ta Ta!

Sunday, 29 January 2012

Bother in the Bunker

Good Evening dearest blog readers; thank you for tuning into the whisker waves on this very cold night.

I've been taking it easy today as Saturday night was such a nightmare, curl up in your nesting materials and I will tell you all about it.

Gizzy & I went out Saturday evening to tuck Sherbert the Race Horse into bed, I read to him a few pages of the Racing Post and when I looked up Sherbert and Gizzy had fallen fast asleep Zzz.

They looked so peaceful I crept out and went home to my nesting materials.

Now dear readers what your Idgie the Wildcat MacVity didn't know was that Gizzy awoke in the night and made her way home in the dark and took a short cut across Tatty Mudflingers field. Jemmy Jim Jams had failed to tell us that Aleron the Llama and The Morrello Cherry Brothers had set some traps for horse rustlers....

Gizzy had innocently hopped over the Barn Track and suddenly got zoomed up in the air by one of the Mafia Traps designed by Atticus, her little back paw was caught and she swung about high up in a tree MeeeOwwwIng at full volume for help!

The noise of Gizzy wailing and meeooowin at full volume had a woken Sherbert who is a bit sensitive and skittish. Frightened he galloped round to Jemmy Jim Jams Mafia Bunker and hopped into bed with the Mafia boss!

Jemmy awoke with a jump and saw a horses head poking out of her duvet. Her little bunny ticker went into over time and she immediately hit the bunker emergency alert button and keeled over in her planets PJs - the alert button sets an alarm off in my collar!

I legged it up to the bunker the speed of a tabby missile and I found complete pandemonium.

Aleron the Llama and the Morrello Cherry Brothers were trying to get Gizzy out of the tree and Sherbert was frantically trying to bring Jemmy round.


I'd got everyone mugs of tea and Jemmy fidgeted from side to side, she said the security and communication arrangement would need a careful rethink!

You don't say!

I do hope you all have a very peaceful night and Ta Ta for now ...

Saturday, 21 January 2012

Mustaffa Carrot

Good evening to you dearest friends ,I do hope you are all very well.

Now then, the last time I tuned into the whisker waves I had received a credit card with instructions from my boss Jemmy Jim Jams to buy supplies for Sherbert the Race Horse. The straw in Sherberts Stable was quite scratchy n pointy on my little paws so I thought a nice big rug would be nice for Sherbert and a deluxe sofa. Sherbert said he fancied one of those big plasma TVs and some magazines to read so I got all that sorted out for him. I got some popcorn and fizzy pop too and the Star Wars DVD box set. We had just got to watching The Empire Strikes back when the stable door was booted open and there stood Jemmy Jim Jams.

Ooo dear....well after a lot of threatening paw shaking and stamping up n down it soon became apparent I'd gone and bought all the wrong stuff...

Sherbet's lip quivered as he wasn't use to all this rabbity tirade. I'm use to the boss kicking off, you just have to let your tabby mind drift to somewhere else or imagine the theme music from The Magic Roundabout or The Archers... Jemmy Jim Jams ended with ...ALL RIGHT - YOU CAN KEEP THE TV and with a flick of her fluffy white tail she bounced off...( fankgawd!)

I do know dear readers that Jemmy is meeting this Arabian Bunny called Mustaffa Carrot and some of his wives this afternoon,  Ive heard he has made it big in Camel Racing and supplied Jemmy with the credit card for Sherberts 'supplies'...(He He)....I bet its some kind of bunny business deal going on.

Gizzy has been giving Sherbert mint treats and going riding everyday. All is well....so I am a bit nervy as its when all is well dear friends that folks need to watch their whiskers!

Else where 'er what feeds me is not getting far with the battle of the paunchy belly, 'er has been playing Badminton but then promptly wolfed down a Hot Morrello Cherry Crumble....there are also tell tail signs of yet more Coconut Macaroon snaffling...it could be a long time before the paunchy belly is fixed...as a good friend says often there are two hopes...Bob Hope n No Hope...and Bob Hopes snuffed it.

Anyway...there may be hope of crinkly cabbage coming soon as Jemmy is entertaining Mustaffa Carrot and his wives tonight with felafel's n sorbet, I hope they got some Alka Seltza is all I'm saying....

Sleep well in your nesting materials, Ta Ta

Saturday, 14 January 2012

The Fruitgum Flyer

Good Evening dearest blog readers and thank you very much for tuning into the whisker waves on this cold January night. I'm sorry I have been off air, I've been so busy caring for Sherbert the Race Horse, I haven't had time to smurf the web.

'Er what feeds me went to the pictures today and came back with a big red nose, teary eyeballs; soggy tissues as she saw War Horse. You know what a soft ol' banana she is about animals, she loves um! Fortunately she was cheered up immensely by dear Mr NetJimbo's new batch of coconut macaroons, thank you very much!

Due to the wolfing of said coconut macaroons, 'er has not lost any weight since I last broadcasted but your own dear Idgie the Cat has been so busy carrying water buckets, mucking out and wheelbarrowing supplies to Sherbert the Race Horse...I am losing weight! I've lost at least two whiskers and a tabby stripe.

I was meandering wearily home this evening after filling Sherberts deluxe mafia stable with straw and hay when I happened to spot Gizzy Whizzie at the Garage carrying a big package tied up with red ribbon. Gizzy waved and explained the package had appeared on the doorstep. Suspiciously I listened to it to insure it was not ticking and I sniffled it in case it contained something edible.

I soon gave it the paws up so Gizzy opened it...Inside was a credit card and a note in a small brown envelope from my boss Jemmy Jim Jams, the Rabbit Mafia Godmother. It instructed Gizzy to try on the clobber contained in the box to see if it fits and to give the credit card to me to buy supplies for Sherbert the Race Horse. Gizzy followed the instructions and went to put on the kit. We soon found out that Gizzy Whizzie had been given a blackberry coloured riding hat and a rainbow coloured silk shirt, jodhpurs and shiny riding boots.

I giggled at the sight of her but she felt very proud to be selected to ride Sherbert - The Fruitgum Flyer and is very enthusiastic, although the nearest she has ever come to horses is feeding them polo mints.

Anyway, I'm off to my nesting materials now to make a list of horse supplies before snuggling down. Sleep well and Ta ta for now.

Friday, 6 January 2012


Good Evening to you dearest blog readers ...

Well I'll tell you the truth this morning I felt really low. All this fitness and fennel twig tea diet malarky was getting to me. 'Er what feeds me had cleared off fishing and I was all alone blubbing into the pond water coloured detox tea when AT LAST!!! Jemmy Jim Jams appeared!

Jemmy was shocked to find her Idgie the Wild Cat MacVity in such a sorry state...she fluffled up my fur with her little paws and said " Blimey whats this muck your drinking?!"

Well I explained that over Christmas I'd ate too much and turned from being Jems No.1 Bouncer to a No.1 Beach Ball and with that I started to wail into my detox tea. I explained about the skipping and fitness routines and Jem listened twanging her whiskers.

"Well, Idgie we ain't got time for this fitness malarky and sipsey tea piddle nonsense, I got you a present up at Tatty Mudflingers Barn...come on!! come on!! I got you a big Sherbert!!".

Excited I legged it after her, Jemmy bouncing off at a pace, I had to go into missile mode to keep up! I had the surprise of my life dear readers for Jemmy Jim Jams had indeed got me a big Sherbert.....

Sherbert the Race Horse!!!

Oooo My!!! Sherbert was really flash with rainbow coloured leg warmers and he was galloping about happily outside of Tatty Mudflingers Barn.

Jemmy told me she was gonna tell 'er what feeds me to lay off the dieting and fitness foolery as I had important Mafia work to do....

Its my job to look after Sherbert the Race Horse! I thought I'd better not ask how Jemmy got Sherbert but she did tell me his Racing name is the Fruit-Gum Flyer and has excellent odds for Kempton!

Jem had set me up with carrots and apples, a big bag of horsey nuts and straw and Sherbert had got a new red brush. I can see I'm going to be way too busy to be doing any fitness and dieting now, I got to care for a big horse!

Ta Ta for now dear friends, I've got to go hot paw up the field to tuck Sherbert into his bedding...Nigh Night

Thursday, 5 January 2012

Skipping Salad

Dearest Friends....I'd say 'Good' Afternoon but as feared the fitness shenanigans have kicked off and there is no where to hide! If truth be known, the Christmas Pudding doesn't fall far from the tree as 'er has a paunchy belly and thinks wearing a tracksuit and twirling a skipping rope for me to hop over is going to make her slim as a racing snake.

I must say I feel I'm being got at!

Gizzy loved leaping about and was showing off at skipping this morning. Apparently it's to encourage me to ENJOY getting fit but dear friends I ask you to look into your hearts and dial the RSPCA as this fitness malarky is nothing short of torment !

What's worse is 'er is trying to revive me with food that only the Moon Worshipping Bunnies at The Clumps would like, oooo dear oh dear...Where is my boss Jemmy Jim Jams, she would know what to do!?

I am typing this with my nose Zzzzzzz

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

Tatty's Hat

Good evening dearest blog readers, I do hope you are all safe and warm in your nesting materials on this very blowy night....the wind is so strong I'm mighty glad to be indoors.

This morning there was a little ratta-tat-tat at the door and I opened it to find little Gizzy Whizzie who had just got home from the Christmas holidays. Her Nanny Whizzie had knitted a overly roomy woolly jersey which wasn't the most practical as Gizzy works in the garage with all the oily engines. It was white with pink frilly trim and a big pink snowflake motif. ( I tried not to giggle!) It was lovely to see her.

We thought we would go for a little walk up to Tatty Mudflingers barn but the wind was so strong it was very difficult to put one paw in front of the other. Suddenly a union jack bra flew past and got caught in the tree tops which made us laugh. Then we saw Tatty Mudflingers straw hat spiral up and whizzle by, I could see Tatty running along the field chasing his hat. Just then a mighty gust came and I saw the pink snowflake on Gizzy Whizzies jersey zoom past and I just managed to hook my claw in the frilly pink trim to stop Gizzy being thrown into the air.

I had rather too much Christmas pudding and snaffling so I made a jolly good anchor as to our horror Gizzy Whizzies new jersey began to unravel. She was whisked up ...up...up into the air like a kite and I held on to the pink trim wool line with all my might. Gizzy whizzie waved her little paws about and yelled for help. She managed to catch Tatty Mudflingers straw hat! Can you see her hanging on to it?

Despite the multiple turkey and pickle ploughmans I'd had and the great dollops of brandy butter it was not enough to stop me being dragged along in the howling wind.. Fortunately dear ol Tatty Mudflinger pounced on my back paws and we at last came to a halt and were able to reel Gizzy back to Earth.

We all went home and had a large cup of tea to get over the shock. Tatty put his straw hat back on and the little mouse that always lives in his hat was a bit traumatised and dizzy from the earlier flight! Can you see him sitting in his hat? Gizzy was a bit upset about the loss of her new woolly jersey so I am knitting her another.

'Er what feeds me is rumberling on about going on a diet....(gulp -I know, isn't it silly, I've told her I have short tabby legs but she claims to not understand me)...I may have to do some kind of exercise routine soon so take pity upon me as I fear I will not be able to wriggle out of it this time!

Keep safe and watch your whiskers out there dear readers and sleep well in your nesting materials...Night Night.