Sunday, 20 November 2011

Llama Loyalty

Good morning dearest friends ...thank you for tuning into my whisker waves on this foggy ol' morning. It was all drama this week, put your paws up and sipsey on a cuppa tea - I will tell you all about it.

The Hamper Business didn't bring in much crinkly cabbage and Jemmy just about broke even after we sold off the delivery lorry. Jemmy was a bit knocked for two minutes about the staffing problems but she was right not to be disheartened for long as Aleron the chocolate coloured woolly wild Llama proved to Jemmy to be the most loyal Mafia Llama.

Jemmy had rescued Aleron the Llama from being done in due to his erratic crazy behaviour at the wildlife park and Jemmy gave him a job as Christmas Tree Plantation Security. It had been quiet for months without any attempted tree thefts and Atticus had been teaching Aleron Karma for Llamas to settle down the crazy llama mind. Atticus also patiently learnt to communicate with Aleron and discovered the poor Llama had severe toothache and an ingrowing nail. OUCH !! Now that would drive you nuts wouldn't it!? Well, Jemmy got a doctor and dentist out to Aleron and the pain and toothy torment was ended.

Aleron is so dedicated to Jemmy Jim Jams he kept his big peepers open and fluffy ears twizzling and it paid off. The thieves came back to the Christmas tree plantation with big saws and had the fright of their lives when Aleron charged out!

They legged it!! He He! I am presently tasked by Jemmy to discover who the bad bunny intruders were. I suspect it was the Morello Cherry Brothers, a rival Mafia Gang. Their ice cream business dealings were on a real slippery downer due to the sniverly cold weather so it would make sense that they turn to seasonal Christmas crime to get through the winter.

Jemmy awarded Aleron the Mafia Bunny Gold Star for the protection of Mafia Assets....

Due to the Hamper Business failing mainly caused by Lollita Piglet wolfing lots of stock Jemmy sent Gizzy and I all over the Bunny Manor dishing out the remaining food supplies to lots of little animals who in these terrible economic times were skint without a single nut in the larder!

Mrs Squirrel was particularly thrilled by the nut delivery we made today. Her fella Sammy Squirrel is still in Nutsville Jail awaiting trial for chocolate peanut thieving so she is finding life very difficult. I have assured Mrs Squirrel that Jemmy has a lawyer on the way and we have promised Mrs Squirrel that her Sammy will be home for Christmas.

The old Rabbit boss has been acting a bit mysterious the last few days and has been in the Bunny Bunker HQ preparing for a trip abroad...

I was anxious at first as she was trying on a big furry hat and Cotswold furry boots and a thick duffel coat. Jemmy had accidentally done in a branch of the Transylvanian Mafia by mistakenly supplying them with the deadly Schnappsie fuel and I was fearful of her traveling to Transylvania alone. She assured me not to worry. I caught a glimpse of her plane ticket and just between us dear readers the boss is not going to Transylvania but off to Russia on Bunny Business!

Else where....

Lavinia has started evening classes and she needed someone to look after the marmalade kittens whilst she learns Advanced Rural Thrift. All of the kittens love good ol' Tatty Mudflinger, so he was the obvious choice of kitten care for the evening.

Tatty played cards with all the kittens and then they pretended to be marooned on a desert island. Tatty put a washing line across the room and put a bed sheet over it and they all got inside the tent. They all had such a giggle, Tatty then asked if they would like a story. He took the washing line down as he thought Lavinia would be cross that her sitting room had been turned into a desert island camp. Tatty put the duvet on the floor and he told them to get into the big nest and all the kittens snuggled down to listen to Tatty read "The Famous Five". Everyone fell asleep...zzzzzzZZ.

When Lavinia got home she quietly crept in to find them all snoozing. Angus opened his peepers when his Mum came in and happily said " Ooo Mum, Dad... took us to a desert island and we built a big nest! "

Lavinia was the happiest cat in the world at that moment, (Ahhhhhh) - she LOVES Tatty Mudflinger with all her heart and if you ask me dear readers I can hear wedding bells !!

Ahhhhhh (sniff) ..I'm a sappy ol mog ain't I dear friends but its so nice to be able to tell you good news!

Cheerie-pip and Ta Ta.

Sunday, 13 November 2011

Bunny Blues

Good afternoon dearest blog readers, I must begin by sending big belated Happy Birthday Greetings to dear ol' Mr Fluff of Hampshire who I know is a dedicated fan of my ramblings and little pictures.

I am afraid to report things have not been going well at the Bunny Bunker as my boss Jemmy Jim Jams has had two serious knock backs to The Bunny Business.

As you know we employed Lollita the Piglet to do our Hamper Sales and all was going really well but it soon became apparent that the hamper stock was diminishing at an alarming mysterious rate.

It turns out that Lollita had been wolfing all the goat cheese and beetroot chutney when she was meant to be selling. She had been piggin swiggin on the Katy Cider supplies too and smurfing the web. We know now that Lollita had booked on the Bunny Account a Bargain Break with Rasher & Scratchings Holidays to Denmark and had been lured in by the promise of a free Danish Tattoo.

It was the same holiday company that Papa Pig had booked the lads weekend away years ago and nobody had seen him again....and now Lollita had gawn the same way.

If this news wasn't bad enough for Jemmy the Mafia Godmother we had more misfortune to follow.

Sammy Squirrel the personal fitness trainer of Sebby CooCoo the Mafia Racing Pigeon has been put in jail!

Sammy had a long criminal record for  nicking nuts n nibbles from bird tables but his taste had changed and he had started thieving chocolate covered peanuts from children. To start off it was a lark as he could run really fast to get away but he became addicted and got fatter and fatter and his teeth went bad. The police didn't have to chase him, Sergeant Wilberforce just rolled him into Nutsville Police Station where he has been put on special nut watch.

As you can imagine Jemmy Jim Jams has taken all this staff news very badly and has a thumping headache.Gizzy and I had to get her into her Star Wars winceyette pyjamas and bedding and put a bag of peas on her bonce.

I will keep you updated dearest readers, never fear - Jemmy will strike back -watch your whiskers out there!

Friday, 4 November 2011

Ink Splat!

Good afternoon dearest blog readers, I hope you are all tickerty-boo.

Er what feeds me is off work today having the ol' jallopy fixed at Gizzy Wizzy's garage and is home making a right mess in the flat (hutch) sorting out her crayons and what-not.

Jemmy and I thought we would hop off and visit Atticus as he hadn't been seen for a few days. He often works on inventions and due to the recent explosions with the home brewing kit, I was anxious for his well being.

So we knocked on his door...

Well...the door opened and the old cat shuffled out in his fluffy moccasins but it soon became apparent he couldn't see anything due to wearing some large dark brown 1970's sunglasses. ..

"Who is it?" said Atticus ...Jemmy frowned and said "Its Jemmy Jim Jams and Idgie the Wildcat MacVity"

Just then Jem & I spotted that Atticus had got a big purply black eye behind the daft dark sunglasses and we demanded to know what low nasty critter had clopped him one !? I gently took Atticus by his paw and Jemmy said she would have a contract out on um in a flash of her little fluffy tail and she would mash um n squish um personally! (Gulp)

Mysteriously Atticus started to giggle and invited us in for tea and jammy dodger biccies....

Do not fear dear readers!..Atticus didn't have a big black eye at all! He was trying to write an envelope and his old fountain pen was blocked up. He gave it a big shake to try to unclog it and the ink went splat straight at his eye. Fortunately he had his big lampy yellow peepers shut as the ink hit !

He had tried very hard to wash it off and felt so silly he had found some 1970's sunglasses to hide the inky accident. I suggested I teach him how to email and Jemmy knew a lorry park where she could lay her paws on a hot new laptop for him. Atticus thanked us very much but he said he would give his fountain pen a good wash out after tea.

Watch out for clogged ink pens dear friends and Cheerie-Pip till next time - Ta Ta.

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Boo Boo Massou's Mystical Paws

Good Evening dearest friends ...I do hope you are all warm & safe on this rainy ol' night. I'm rather pooped out but I've tuned into the whisker waves to let you all know the hoo-haa that went on last night! As you know I was off with my Halloween Lantern to The Clumps Woodland for Boo Boo Massou's Halloween Party. It was so dark and creepy last night, luckily the sky was full of friendly bright stars. I could hear the bongo drums and chanting coming from the Mystical Moon Worshipping Bunnies so I knew I was near to Boo Boo Massou's Hut. Suddenly I heard whiskers went twangy and I hid behind a big tree trunk.

Just ahead of me was The Chief of Police and Sergeant Wilberforce creeping along all sneaky like. The Chief was whispering something about The Bunnies holding another Rave and drinking illegal moonshine. Sergeant Wilberforce was meant to be hiding but I could see him a mile off in his Police Glow in the dark uniform!

Suddenly they were spotted by someone else....(gulp!)

A WITCH dear blog readers, a real one! She had a big green hooky nose and on spotting the cops she cast a spell and Ooooo Nooo...she turned the Chief into a frog!

Then straight away she turned poor ol Sergeant Wilberforce into a cat which looked like it could do with a big feed of kibble!

I am not use to witches but obviously working as a minder for Jemmy Jim Jams I'm not scared of nuffink even green warty witches with big shonks. I grabbed my Pumpkin Lantern and lobbed it at her!

KA-POW!!! She vanished...fank our lucky stars for have to watch your whiskers don't you folks! Well I picked up the Chief of Police who was still a frog and poor Sergeant Wilberforce in his cat form followed me to Boo Boo Massou's hut. The party was wild, lots of lanterns and dancing and munching going on. I explained to Boo Boo Massou what had happened and as you would expect the dear mystical bunny had an ointment that restores folk back to normal.

The good news is The Chief and Sarg Wilberforce were zapped back to Police HQ all in good nick so to speak and a jolly good time was had by all! What a night...this story may be slightly embellished as I think I may be still under the influence of the pea-pod wine.

Sweet Dreams friendly folk and sleep safe in your nesting materials. Ta Ta