Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Lolita earns some Lolly

Good Evening dearest blog readers , what a rainy ol' night it is, I hope you are all in the warm.

Now...where was I, I know, I was going to tell you what happened to Lolita the Piglet after Jemmy Jim Jams found her outside the chippy sitting on the kerb chomping chips when she should have been in school.

Jemmy took Lolita to see Sergeant Major Caruthers who was a tough ol rabbit and use to training up delinquent bunnies to be soldiers of distinction. He had lived through hawks swooping, snares, the Rabbit Civil War and three Trixi - Mixi outbreaks. He assured Jemmy that Lolita would benefit from discipline and hard work..


Jemmy was rather doubtful and worried but figured that Sergeant Major Caruthers was of excellent character and would sort out Lolita to be a good piglet that her  mum Petunia would be proud of.

It turned out dear readers that Sergeant Major Caruthers took all the delinquent bunny rabbits and our Lolita up to The Clumps Woodland where he taught them how to build a rain proof shelter and what kind of mushrooms were safe to nibble. Lolita as you would expect didn't listen to a word! They were all sent off into The Clumps to build shelters for themselves...but Lolita got completely lost. She trotted along for hours in the rain and couldn't find any of the bunnies or Sergeant Major Caruthers. Her mobile phone had been confiscated and now she was in just a complete nightmare. Eventually she found a road and was so tired, distressed and soggy she sat on the verge holding a tiny leaf over her head to try to keep dry.

Luckily Gizzy and I came zooming down the road in the new Hamper Delivery Lorry.

Despite the rain and it getting dusky I spotted the little pink figure of Lolita sitting by the road.
Well dear friends ...Gizzy and I were not having that, she is a little so n so but shes a teenager and clearly in danger so we screeched on the brakes and rescued her.

Lolita was so happy to see us. On our way home I had a long ol' natter to her whilst Gizzy steered the Hamper Lorry safely through the horrible weather conditions.

Its not everybody dear readers that is going to learn anything from building rain shelters in the woods or what mushrooms are safe to eat. These activities are good survival skills but I was curious about Lolita the Piglet. I asked her...What do you LOVE doing the most?...

Well the answer was obvious really...Lolita loves money, using the computer, food and chatting on the phone.....so dear readers....her Aunty Idgie called Jemmy Jim Jams and spelt out the situation and the good news is Lolita is now in charge of phone sales on our Hampers!

She is doing brilliantly and using all her skills. Shes now a very busy little piglet and everyone is impressed especially her Mum.

Ta Ta for now dear blog readers, watch your whiskers out there.

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