Monday, 22 October 2012

Allo Allo Humphrey

Good Afternoon dearest blog readers and thank you very much for tuning into the tabby whisker waves - I do hope you are all very well.

The leaves are changing colour and the mists and mystical mushrooms be popping up in abundance. The Kit Kat Gang have been out in the fields looking for giant mushrooms and puff balls.

Atticus checks all of them before we pick 'um for snaffling, as some mushrooms can duff you in if you're not watching your whiskers out there!

I looked anxiously towards the reinforced bunny bunker door whilst helping Angus find field mushrooms.  Jemmy Jim Jams, the Mafia Godmother had withdrawn underground in a depressed state which tends to occur when the summer fizzles out.

Jemmy had been chuntering a lot and was disappointed after discovering skulduggery against her and the bunny business (gulp). There was no alternative than to plant more spring bulbs in a big hole... on the's always lovely to have a splash of jolly colour in the spring says Jemmy...

I hadn't seen Jemmy for about four days since then. I know the poor potato crop had affected the business figures up at The Chippy and the Tatty Schnappsie fuel supply was at an all time low....Jemmy was quite tearful and plummeted into bumberly depths.

Being in a bunker surrounded by grenades, rocket launchers, spears and swords cant be healthy for a small bunny rabbit even though she is The Mafia Godmother of all rabbits.

I scampered my tabby body over to see Mama Morrello the founder of the Morrello Cherry Liqueur Business and Ice Cream Queen for advise as she would relate to the bunny business bother. We knocked at the Bunker door and Jemmy didn't answer. Mama Morrello told me not to worry...she may be grey whiskered and a bit blurry in the eyeballs but she's sharp as a tack under that cardigan and soon picked all the intricate complex locks to reach my boss.

She said.." Now Jemmy, will you put that axe down,... it's not good to shut yourself away and think in the past or in the dark - NO!! Come out in to the daylight!!".

Jemmy hopped out of the bunker and was proud to see us all busy mushrooming. Mama Morrello squeezed Jems paw and pointed towards the pumpkin field which was ready for harvest. Jemmy then saw Alleron the Llama charging up and down protecting the Jim Jams Christmas Tree Plantation. Ahhrrr HOPE grew in Jems heart!

Suddenly the Coq au Vin Taxi came up the Mudflinger Barn Track.

"Allo Allo", shouted the taxi driver in his best French accent. "I 'ave a visitor for you"! Jemmy grinned, the Cockerel wasn't really French dear readers, he was from Hackney but had recently been released from Nutsville for fighting. Jem had set him up in a Taxi service and it was working out rather well.

The back door of the Coq au Vin Taxi swung open to reveal crates of Champagne and Humphrey!
Jemmy had know Humphrey ever since he was a tiny ball of fluff. Jem quickly realised that Humphrey had many talents and tip-top taste buds for grapes. He now runs the Jim Jam Vineyard in France.

Humphrey was a distant relative of the Jim Jams Family but some curious encounter generations back with a ginger furred Hare had given him speedy paws, excellent ear'oles and gingery fluff. He proudly presented Jemmy with the Annual Report and a Gold Champagne Award.

So all is well dear friends, watch your whiskers out there and Taa Taa.

No comments:

Post a Comment