Thursday, 24 July 2014

Connie the Constrictor

Hello Everybody!

I do hope you are all very well this sunny day.

You must forgive me for my fluffed up state but something really alarming happened - make yourself a cuppa tea and I'll tell you all about it.

We were all at Tatty Mudflingers barn giving our Cherry Schnappsie jars a good shake. As you can see I don't have as many cherries as everyone else as...not all mine made it into the jar during preparation.

There we all were chatting happily and care free...

YES - YOU KNOW WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY  - its at times like this dear friends that you really need to watch your whiskers!

Suddenly Lavinia Mudflinger came hurtling into the barn whirling her handbag in floods of tears.

"HELP HELP HELP !!! Angus the marmalade kitten is being squeeeeeeeezed by a giant snake!!"

Lavinia had clopped the snake round the kisser with her handbag but the deranged killer constrictor let out a terrifying maniacal laugh and refused to let go off little Angus!

 It turns out that the snake was Crazy Connie who had been let out of Snakesville Open Prison for the day on a jolly. Some daft  do-gooder had stuck their big beak in and thought it would be therapeutic for Connie to slither orf on a little shopping trip for soft loo rolls and a frilly lampshade to cheer herself  up.

We all ran to save Angus from her evil coils ....but terrifyingly we were all very soon in her tight grip!

All of the Kit Kat Gang in mortal danger!

 ...Only Lavinia was free to run and get help and she shot off whirling her handbag to the ONLY place you could possibly go when faced with such peril....

Luck was on our side! Lavinia ran straight to the Rabbit Bunker to fetch Jemmy Jim Jams the Old English Godmother of all Bunnies!

There was a flash of black and white and a little fluffy tail as Jemmy grabbed her present from the Piglet Possy which she hadn't had opportunity to use yet. The little piglets had been down Blackbush Market and got a buy one get one free offer on Knuckle Tazers! Jemmy was overcome with emotion on receiving such a thoughtful gift and had them plugged in to charge up over night.

 We all thought we were about to depart this blog when there was a mighty flash of light -crackle n bang !!

Fizzzzzzz Thwack!!!Ka- Pow!!!!!The new Knuckle Tazers blew Jemmy off her paws and she looked impressive as Bruce Lee as the volts hit Connie the Constrictor. She didnt know what hit her!!

We all escaped ( with static fizzing fur! ) and as for Connie....she was dragged off frazzled n smoking from the nostrils  back to Snakesville.

A happy ending! Though I think Jemmy is going to see if the piglets had kept a receipt for the Knuckle Tazers as they rather disappointingly melted.

Watch your whiskers out there and Ta Ta!

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