Saturday, 30 July 2011

MI6 and The Great Badger Airlift

Good Afternoon dear friends and I do hope you are all tickerty-boo on this sunny weekend.

Since my last blog to you all the badger situation at Tatty Mudflingers barn grew and grew and nobody knew what to was becoming an emergency so Jemmy Jim Jams went down to her bunker to contact the only person in the world that the Ol' rabbit would take orders from.

Jemmy called M at MI6...she said ..."This is Hot Cross Bunny....repeat this is Hot Cross Bunny calling London...come in chief!!".

M was just having a nice cuppa tea and a jammy dodger biccy so wasn't too keen to be disturbed by one of the rural outposts but realising it was Jemmy Jim Jams she was all ears. She owed Jemmy a few favours and soon help was dispatched...

Gizzy flew Jemmy and I in the Chinook Helicopter up to Tatty Mudflingers old Potato Field and all the badgers boarded and we took them off and away. Obviously I cannot tell you where we flew to as it's Top Top Secret, its more than my whiskers worth to say but rest assured the badgers from Jemmy's Manor are all in safety now and starting a new life.

Its all been so hectic Gizzy and I took a little holiday. The weather has been so lovely we went rockpooling wearing our sunhats. We caught shrimps and I tried to tug a limpet off the rocks but they kind of super-lock on for dear life! I bet they taste all rubbery anyway.

We absolutely love reading detective stories and our favourites at the moment are by MC Beaton - Agatha Raisin is the detective and ooo it does make us laugh, I can't put them down.

Gizzy is very wary of sleeping on the beach due to a terrible fear of drowning, I must teach her to swim as I have lots of swimming badges.To put her mind at ease I borrowed a Rescue Inflatable Ring from the RNLI for her so all was well for snoozing. 

I guess we will have to come back soon from our holiday, I really don't fancy it as I love fishing, rock pooling and reading all day. Oh well, I expect the Ol rabbit will have a job for us when we get back and its never dull dear readers!

Bless you all and Ta Ta for now.

Wednesday, 20 July 2011


Hello dear blog readers, I do hope you are all well but I know if you are badgers its a blinkin' awful day... 

Jemmy & I have had our paws full. A couple of very distressed Badgers from Gloucestershire turned up at Tatty Mudflingers Barn seeking safe shelter. Tatty let them in and gave them some straw nesting materials then a couple more turned up..then another and another...and another...

Tatty called me and said we better get up to the Barn pronto..

The humanbean government are gonna duff in 70% of badgers so obviously ...Badgers aint daft! - they are legging it all over the place and with every gun shot more of um will leg it over the hills n far away...and as it turns out legging it to our Tatty Mudflingers Barn. Jemmy and I wore our Resistance Berets, macs n socks to show the Homeless Badgers we want to help um but we dont know how. Even Jemmy cant think what to do and shes the one with the brains ( Im the one with the good looks!). Distressed Badgers keep coming n coming.

Watch your whiskers out there!

Tuesday, 12 July 2011


Good Evening dearest readers, I do hope you are all tickerty boo.

It's been one of those days where things just went up a gum tree without a paddle from the start!

Jemmy Jim Jams has been reading about how expensive Ming Vases are so she got Gizzy and I a potters wheel to try to knock out some genuine antique Chinese ceramics... (sigh)

 Well dear friends it started pretty well when we plugged in the motor and the clay span round n round n round but then suddenly it all collapsed on me, so Gizzy whacked up the power.

She wanted to have ago on the potters wheel next so I flicked the on switch and it started whizzing round, there was this horrible smell though and the motor got hotter and the clay vase got taller.

Suddenly, it caught fire and Oooo poor little Gizzy clung for dear life to the whirling clay.  I yanked the plug out fast...

...but t'was too late!!

Gizzy was propelled at 200mph into the air all caked in clay and I watched in horror as I saw her fly over the roof tops! I ran after her, my ticker pounding with terror as she's my best friend!

DO NOT FEAR dearest blog readers - Thank our lucky stars someone had hung their washing out on the line and by sheer panicked chanting, praying and good luck....

....Gizzy dive bombed into someone's big floral knickers!! Saved her life they did!

Naturally Gizzy was shaken up and really dizzy - when I found her she was rolled up in a flower bed in her LUCKY KNICKERS!

I am not looking forward to reporting to the boss that the Ming Vase idea may have to wait as the motor on the wheel has melted!

Watch your whiskers out there and look out for your pals, sleep safe in your nesting materials, Night Night.

Sunday, 10 July 2011

The Big Race

Good Morning dear friends - ooo I do love Sundays as I can put my paws up and relax.

This week has been rather busy and it all started when I spotted a Belgium Waffle with raspberries and cream...

...although it soon became apparent the waffle wasn't for me and 'er what feeds me sent me on my merry way up the garden!

Well, I thought I was having a bad day folks just missing out on a raspberry waffle but then I heard gun shot! I looked up and saw Cyril the Squirrel come hurtling over the fence and keel over. The humanbean fella who puts lots of nuts n seeds n fatty balls out for the birds must have tried to shoot  Cyril the Squirrel as he  likes to snaffle the birdie food when nobody is looking! Well, I scooped Cyril up, he wasn't shot - just stunned - I took him home to his Mrs but then realised something...

Jemmy had employed Cyril the Squirrel as Fitness Trainer for Sebby-Coo-Coo the Mafia Racing Pigeon. Lots of folk enter a Racing Pigeon in to the Annual Big Race. With the Trainer sick what could we do to keep Sebby Coo-Coo our prize racer in top form!?

Sebby Coo-Coo was naturally upset that Cyril had been stunned but Jemmy Jim Jams took some presents and promises to encourage him to WIN AT ALL COSTS...(gulp).

I was rather doubtful about the presents as Jemmy gave Sebby Coo-Coo a aerodynamic speed skaters helmet and a pair of the trendiest running trainers. I wanted to say Sebby just needs to flap his wings a lot but I couldn't question the ol rabbit boss could I!?

However the Speedy Feed Deluxe Birdie Seed did seem to put a sparkle in Sebby Coo-Coo small birdie peepers so we were hopeful!

I had to travel to the Isle of Wight to let Sebby Coo-Coo go at the Start of the race, I traveled up with The Ferret Federation Boss who also had a pigeon in the Race.

Monty 'The Bargain' Grabba Ferret is a kind of acquaintance of ours from the Poachers Pot Pub. Its true hes a charmer and gets ANYTHING to you that you could ever wish for but he sold us a dodgy Sat Nav recently.

(See my past blog to see what happened to Gizzy and I when the Sat Nav started instructing directions in Mandarin.)

Anyway, all the Racing Pigeons flapped orf fast from the Isle of Wight and when I arrived back home I found out Sebby Coo Coo had won The Big Race!

Jemmy got lots of Crinkly cabbage winnings, Sebby got his deluxe seed and I got a big gold watch off Monty 'The Bargain' Grabba. doesn't tick I found out but it looks good! I'm pleased to say Cyril the Squirrel is feeling much better so all in all the week has ended well.

Watch your whiskers out there and beware of imitations...  Bless you all and Ta Ta.

Thursday, 7 July 2011

We do like to be beside the seaside...

Good Evening dear friends, what a chilly night, Ive had to get my winter blanket out - isnt that daft in July? My little ol' tabby paws are nippy do-dah!

Gizzy and I went down to the beach today with a do-it-yourself kit box that kind of fell off the back of a lorry - it contained the parts for a Land Sailing Buggy. Gizzy cant swim so convinced me sailing on land would be safe ...and fun.. and got all excited... so we gave it a go...

Well...Gizzy loved it as she is addicted to rocketing along at an alarming rate but I have to say I was quite glad when it was lunch time...

I got some fish n chips and Gizzy got a double strawberry icecream but we had a bit of hassle with some local thugs on the sea wall... they wanted to nick my fish dear readers! Well... it got up my nose didnt it as I like to enjoy my food but I mentioned Jemmy Jim Jams  to them and they soon cleared off!

I hope you are warm in your nesting materials tonight, sleep well and Ill be back soon - cheerie-pip.

Sunday, 3 July 2011

Surfs up !

Good Afternoon dearest blog readers - I do hope you are all tickerty-boo. I haven't been on the techno electro waves to you this week as Ive been trying to help Jemmy Jim Jams. Its all been a bit of a do and a bit too much for the ol' Mafia Rabbit recently. Put your paws up a while and Ill tell you all about it...

Please don't ask me dear friends how the Dickens Jemmy has relations that are vultures, its just too complicated for my tabby brain but all you need to know is Jemmy's Nanny Vulture croaked it the other week and went to the big Vulture nest in the sky.
 Jemmy had a rotten time when she was a small bunny as Nanny Vulture would point a jabby claw and say nasty things to Jemmy from her old chair in the Vulture Lair. Jemmy was ...'weird'.....according to Nanny Vulture, Jemmy & Jon Bon Bunny didn't fit into the Vulture Family at all - Jemmy enjoyed talking to bats, cats & frogs...but Nanny Vulture ATE THEM!

Well...the Old Nanny Vulture croaked and didn't leave a single crinkly cabbage or carrot to Jemmy or Jon Bon in her will. Jemmy felt upset...and reacted as only my boss would, she was counting grenades when I found her and I knew I MUST DO SOMETHING QUICK! Shes a Mafia Boss but...shes MY BOSS and I love her!

Jemmy said " Idgie Wildcat MacVity - tell me what you'd do if you are robbed of your inheritance of 50,000 carrots!?" I told her she didn't eat carrots so not to worry and besides you cant smoke um! ( that cheered her up!)...there is only ONE THING you could do in a disastrous situation like this and that is to go FISHING!

We went to the beach dear readers and Jemmy wore her loud Hawaiian shirt and shorts and came with a hamper and Pimms No.1. It was a beautiful sunny day on the beach and I was having a great time but Jemmy got bored sitting on her towel. She cant understand why I like fishing, you see she doesn't eat fish at all but its my main diet! Jemmy hopped off up the beach saying she was off to find an ice cream....

Well time ticked on and Jemmy didn't return with an ice cream so I started to worry she had got lost but then I saw her dear readers...OUT AT SEA !!

He He! The Boss was SURFING dear readers and looked very happy indeed. I didn't catch any fish as I think they were frightened off by Jemmy's floral shorts but RESULT....the bunny bounced back as always!

Cheerie-pip everyone.