Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Christmas Muddle

Good Morning dearest blog readers, I do hope you are all very well?

I have been busy taking care of Atticus, as he has caught a cold and has a big red nose. Tatty made him a batch of 'Special' Sloe Juice that can be warmed up and fights off the dreaded lurgy. Boo Boo Massou also sent him a berry syrup - so don't you worry, the ol chappy will soon be better!

Whilst I was finding some more tissues for Atticus there was a little rat-a-tat-tat at the door. On the doorstep was Angus the Marmalade Kitten with his school satchel looking a bit anxious. His teacher had asked the class to find out for home work what Christmas is, so Angus came to see Atticus to find out. Atticus is very smart indeed and can answer everything on Mastermind and University Challenge!

His little face fell when I told him Atticus was not very well. But I seemed to remember Christmas was something to do with a baby being born in a field of mangetout, under a bright star and some shepherds came and washed their socks at night near by. Angus looked very confused as he didn't know what mangetout was, so I explained they were classy peas. I suggested to Angus to go to speak to Boo Boo Massou the  Mystical spiritual leader of the Bongo Drumming Bunnies.

Boo Boo Massou was very happy to see little Angus up at 'The Clumps' woodland. All the bongo drumming bunnies had been making holly leaf decorations for their coming Yule Festival, they had collected mistletoe and oranges and were excited about the coming winter solstice feast and the rebirth of the new sun. There was a lot of skipping n hopping and the testing of hot spicy cider. Angus was very confused, the bunnies knew nothing about the baby and the shepherds washing their socks in a field of mangetout and Boo Boo suggested he go straight to Jemmy Jim Jams who is Angus' Godmother.

Jemmy Jim Jams was very busy indeed but always has time for little Angus and was over the moon to help him with his homework on the subject of Christmas. Angus explained about the baby in the mangetout and Jemmy didn't know about that but as soon as Angus mentioned Shepherds she got very excited and took Angus into the warehouse ( Tatty Mudflingers Barn!) - "It's all about  business opportunity dear boy and making of the ol crinkly cabbage!" said Jemmy all bouncy and animated.

Jemmy said she was taking a lot of stuff down Shepherds Bush Market to sell for Christmas, she had a big stash of x-boxes, play stations and i-phones.  She also had sacks of mistletoe and holly wreaths that the bunnies from the clumps knocked out for her at discount price. Angus was so happy to at last find someone who knew about Christmas! He made lots of notes and thanked Jemmy very much.

On his way home he could hear Aunty Gizzy Whizzy in the garage riveting an old banger car so he popped in to say hello.

They had a cup of tea and Angus told Gizzy all about the very confusing homework. Gizzy scratched her little fluffy head as she was sure something important had been forgotten. Slurping on their tea Gizzy remembered about the big turkey, the elves and Father Christmas ...then it came to her, she remembered - - Three kings who travelled in heavy traffic to a stable full of straw where there was a baby in a bed of mangetout or something. The Kings had come with gifts from the Shepherds Bush Market for the baby but were made to stay outside because they were smoking camels. Angus looked at his homework notes and sighed.

Lets all hope that dear ol Atticus gets better soon.

Monday, 11 November 2013

The Business

Good Evening dearest blog readers,

I do hope you are all tickerty-boo and keeping your paws dry.

We have been very busy indeed as Jemmy Jim Jams and the Kit Kat Gang have gone into the art business with 'er what feeds me. 

We have got our first craft fair on Sunday so 'er had a business meeting with Jemmy where they agreed on important things like tea breaks, biscuits and who was doing what.

I am in charge of supplies and make sure we have plenty of jammy biccies...and as you can see below I collect the mount board which I take to Atticus for cutting.

Atti is a fast learner and has taught himself to cut mounts which takes a lot of concentration and paw and eyeball  precision.
 He is the best at doing sums and measuring right to the whisker line, he let me have a try - Atti said that my bevel cuts were banana swoops which was a little too modern and free style. 

Little Gizzy Whizzy cleans the  frame glass, she sticks her tongue out when she is polishing and nobody knows why.

Jemmy Jim Jams then does all the quality checking. When we first started she found cat fluff , biccy crumbs and jam on the mounts and she was hopping mad (gulp!) As you can imagine its not a good idea to rattle the ol rabbit who now wears glasses for checking!

Due to Jemmy being deadly at checking our work  the Rejects desk is now very quiet indeed...

In fact Tatty Mudflinger hasn't had any Rejects passed to him so he has fallen fast asleep...

Well, I must be off to my nest now, wish us all luck for Sundays Craft Fair, if we do well it will mean kippers for breakfast so do cross your paws that we get some sales.

Watch your whiskers out there and a very good night to you all.

Thursday, 31 October 2013

Sherbert's Schnappsi

Happy Halloween dearest friends, I do hope you are all very well and enjoying your evening.

I am a little bit fluffed out tonight as it was all scary drama up at Tatty Mudflinger's Barn. There's all these witchy ghost stories going on tonight but I tell you dearest blog readers this true story will put your whiskers all a twangy!

Tatty had carved some pumpkin lanterns and invited us to the unveiling of the new Halloween batch of Tatty Schnappsi.  During the syphoning off process there was a small leak so Tatty collected the spill in a metal bucket which he placed by the barn door.

Everyone had arrived at the barn and Sherbert the Racehorse inquisitively trotted in from the field. He was a bit thirsty so he casually and unwittingly had a little sipsey from the schnappsi bucket !

Suddenly Sherbert started to glow radio active green and a huge blasting energy surge radiated out from his body sending everyone off balance with paws in the air. Terrifyingly we could see his skeleton! Horror oh horror!!

The radioactive green glow dissipated as fast as it had arrived and I scrambled up to find poor Sherbert on his back with his legs galloping along and his hair all on end.

Everyone ran to his aid and talk about LUCKY....thank our lucky stars as Boo Boo Massou the Mystical Healer and Leader of the Moon Worshipping Bunnies had some Rescue Remedy. Sherbert managed to have a glug and it turned his tongue green!

As if by magic his legs stopped galloping and I'm relieved to report he was soon feeling completely better.

Clearly the Schnappsie was more lethal than the first batch!

Do have a safe and happy Halloween, but I think after all this drama, I'm going to scamper off to my nest. Good night.

Sunday, 27 October 2013

Trick or Treat

Good evening dearest friends, I do hope you are all safe and warm in your fluffy warm nests. Batten down the hatches tonight as there is going to be a lot of wind and its got nothing to do with Deirdre the Goat this time!

I'm afraid to say some real ruffians turned up on our patch. They played some nasty trick or treat pranks and lobbed eggs and set off bangers. What they didn't know was Sebby Coo Coo the mafia racing pigeon spotted um with his little beadie birdie eyeballs and flapped pronto to Jemmy Jim Jams.

Poor old Atticus was very frightened of them knocking at his door. At first, the dear ol moggy thought they just wanted candy chews and lollies but they demanded cider and schnapsie, so Atti shut the door quick. It shook the elderly ol mog up, he got the jitters and nearly spilt his bedtime coco.
As soon as Jemmy knew what was going on she was furious (gulp) - these thugs had to be taught a lesson she said so her philosophy is to fight fire with fire...or call in the Kit Kat Gang and our own rent-a-mob..the Piglet Possy!

Soon Atti felt much better surrounded by his friends and Jemmy revealed her Revenge Plot!

Gizzy Whizzy got a bucket of sticky oil from her garage and I skipperty skipped up to the farm and gathered a sack full of turkey and chicken feathers.

When Lavinia found out that poor Atticus had been terrorised she gladly sent Tatty off with some old dust sheets.

The next evening the thugs turned up at Atticus' door demanding money and shouting and banging...

Gizzy leapt out the bushes and flung the sticky oil over them and I showered them in feathers! Suddenly Atticus' door was flung open by Jemmy Jims Jams and a stampede of wailing ghosts all piled out and put the fear of piglet hell into them!

As they fled Sebby Coo Coo dive bombed them and pigeon pooped on their heads!

Well...serves the rotters right! They ran, ran, ran!! Ha Haaaaaa.

 Atticus and all the little animals came outside and everyone had candy sweets and lollies.

Watch your whiskers out there and Ta Ta for now.

Friday, 11 October 2013

Crazy Cake Mix

Good Morning dearest friends,

I do hope you are all very well and keeping your paws warm, its gone mighty nippy so you want to scamper along pretty quick.

Settle with a cuppa tea for a little while and I'll tell you what happened up at Tatty Mudflingers Farm.

Lavinia Mudflinger helps to run the Rural Thrift Club and one of the ladies in the club gave a jug of cake mix to try out on Tatty and the marmalade kittens.

Lavinia put the mix in the fridge over night but in the morning it was found to be frothing and gurgling. It seemed to be growing so Lavinia split the mixture into a bowl. Well dear friends this mixture seemed to keep bubbling up and growing and growing and Lavinia was running out of containers.

Tatty put some mix in a bucket and took it out to the barn where it continued to grow!
Lavinia made some rock cakes with the mixture and they turned out to be so rock hard Tatty invited the kittens Godmother - Jemmy Jim-Jams over for a game of cricket...
Here is Tatty Mudflinger about to throw a rock cake over his hat to Jemmy.

Jemmy whacked the rock cake really hard and it was so hard the vibration of the impact to the  bat travelled up to her gnashers and her whiskers went twangy!

Caw bloomin' eck thought Jemmy, these rock cakes are dangerous!
Jemmy got on the blower to the Ministry of Defence as she thought the RAF might fancy firing them as a test weapon but the receptionist said they wouldn't do business with bunnies.
Well dear friends that was a bit of a knock to the ol rabbit but never to be disheartened for long!

Jem rang lots of folk and eventually she talked to a Garden Gnome specialist in Germany. He said due to the very cold winters the Gnomes cracked easily and he was extremely keen to purchase Jems 'Indestructible Winter Gnome Mix'....
Ha Haaa!!
Well dear blog readers, you have to hand it to the ol' rabbit boss - improvising and determination is key in business!
Never give up and watch your whiskers out there.
Ta Taaaa

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

Mouse Council Service Announcement

Greetings dearest blog readers,

I got a little bit lost last night due to the return of the autumnal mists - I was scampering tabby quick paw across the fields trying to get home for supper when I bumped into to a couple of field mice called Erol and Teggy. They were  putting up warning signs by very poisonous mushrooms. They asked me to make a Mouse Council Service Announcement on this blog as apparently a lot of little mice tune into my whisker waves.

The trouble all kicked off last Autumn you see when some mad ol' hippy mice went and had big nibblings of a Fly Agaric Mushroom. I know its horrible dear friends but Im sorry to say they got done in! It caused a right ol' kafluffle and a big ol' stink I can tell you. Due to the mousie out-cry the Mouse Council have got Erol and Teggy  putting up these warning signs.
In the past baby mice were read stories about fairies and gnomes that sat on these mushrooms making them seem all innocent, sweet n fluffsey......but truth is they are bloomin' deadly!
Whilst I was nattering to Erol and Teggy they spotted some Sulphur Tuft mushrooms so they quickly whacked another sign in with Erol's mallet.

Obviously they are only little mice with tiny legs so they don't cover a large area so that's why they asked me to tell you all about it and show you their pictures.
Watch your whiskers out there and I'll be broadcasting again soon  - Taa Taaa.

Monday, 23 September 2013

Taaa Daaaaa - the new Website is launched!

Dearest Friendly Folk

It gives me great pleasure in announcing that 'Er What Feeds Me has launched her new cartoonist website, featuring yours truly and friends.

To visit, please tap your paws on the link below:

Have a wander over and take a look, soon you'll be able to purchase cards and pictures (of me!).

Thank you for your support.

See you soon, taa taaaaaa.

Friday, 20 September 2013

Carrot Crime

Hello Friendly Folk

I do hope you are all tickerty-boo and watching your whiskers out there.

My dear ol' friend Tatty Mudflinger has been working very hard out in the fields as he now has eight marmalade kittens to feed and as you can imagine its a big responsibility.

He carefully planted out a field of carrot seeds and has lovingly nurtured them into growing plentiful and strong. He made sure they were not thirsty in all the sunshine and has been entertaining them every day with banjo music and singing.

Can you see Harvey the little mouse who lives in Tatty's hat singing along?

It was time to harvest the carrots so Tatty carefully dug them up and washed them all.
Beautiful big carrots dear readers - all clean, orange n bright, just right to be presented and sold fresh to the supermarket.

Tatty loaded up just two crates of carrots to show to the sales fella and he was so excited thinking about buying a nice big chicken for his hungry family with the money from the carrot sale.

Just when everything seemed great ...

The smarmy sales bloke offered just one stinky sprat per crate!!What a low life rotter, Tatty went home and bewildered with despair he drank a bottle of Tatty Schnappsie...which dear friends never works out well! Poor ol Tatty Mudflinger fell asleep in a stash of lovely fresh clean carrots and Harvey the mouse knew he must get help...

There is only one rabbit in the world you can turn to when in a whole big pile of carrot disaster...
Yes! You have to go to Jemmy Jim Jams the Mafia Godmother of all Business Bunnies!

As you can imagine being a close friend of Tatty and as 'Godmother' to all his kittens ol' Jem wasn't a happy bunny so she bounced into action.

I was sent off to shovel up a whole pile of earth and Gizzy shot off to the horse trough to bring a bucket of water. We then made a massive  brown paste and rolled  the carrots coating them all in thick mud.

We packed them all up in crates and Jemmy was doing wheelie -dealing on the ol mobile bunny blower.

I'm happy to tell you Tatty got his big roast chicken for dinner in the end as the ol rabbit sold  the muddy carrots to the supermarket as Delux Organic 'See in the Dark' Carrots .

I must be going now, watch your whiskers out there and I'll be back soon.

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Excitement and Creativity

Hello dearest friends,

I do hope you are all very well indeed and keeping warm and well fed.

Your Idgie the Cat is very sorry to have been away from my little ol' blog the last couple of months, I have been so very busy you see with creativity, my paws have hardly touched the ground and as you can see in this photo - I'm so ka-fluffled I've fallen asleep in my crayons.

I am pleased to tell you that I have teamed up with the  'er's what feed me and the rest of the Kit Kat Gang and we are going to bring to you our own snazzy colourful web site. Oh Yes ! We are going all technologicals and industrious on the Wild Whisker Waves!

Also 'er what feeds me has got us a Facebook Page and if you are into twittering n tweeting you can follow 'er if you fancy all that chirping malarkey on @JessZBudden

I will be back soon with a link to our NEW web site and I will be tipperty tapping on my blog too.

Righty O, -Watch your whiskers out there and bless you all.

Idgie the Cat

Thursday, 20 June 2013

Sprucie Moosies Cabin

Sprucie Moosies Cabin
by Jess ( aka 'er what feeds me)
There is a little wooden cabin,
In the wildy wilderness,
Far from the forest trail,
Its where Sprucie Moosie lives.
Saskatoon berries are delivered,
By grizzly Bears big paws,
Beavers paddle up the maple syrup,
Which Licky Lynx adores.
Racoons bring a pancake pan
Spikey Porcupine has the eggs,
He carried um safely all the way,
- He's only got little legs.
Splishy sploshy the salmon leap,
In the Rockie Mountain creek
Lots and lots of things to eat,
At Sprucie Moosies Cabin

Racoon Try Outs

Hello everybody, I do hope you are all very well.
I have made friends in Canada with Sprucie Moosie and he is helping me search for the ol rabbit boss Jemmy Jim Jams who has gone missing.
As we all know Jem played ice hockey for the Bracknell Bee's many moons ago so we wondered if she had been to the Wildy Wilderness Ice Rink.
We asked the Racoons if they'd seen her but they hadn't.
Sprucie Moosie and I will keep looking.
Ta ta dear friends and watch your whiskers out there.

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Yum Yum - Maple Syrup

Ooo I do love a drop and a drip and drop and a dripperty lickerty splosh of Maple Syrup!

Line Dancing

Hello Dearest Friends, I do hope you are all very well.

I have been so busy as 'er what feeds me has had all of the Kit Kat Gang helping to paint The Hutch...(the flat) - apart from a few painty paw prints, splashes n splots the place looks fresh as a daisy now. In fact..I scampered in the other day and for a moment I thought Id got the wrong place but the waft of kippers snapped me out of it.

To celebrate a job well done we all washed behind our ear 'oles and went Line Dancing!

Atticus wore a gigantic hat and I think he had a bacon butty under it in case he got peckish.
Gizzy Whizzie was showing off as usual in her bubble-gum pink shirt and good ol' Tatty Muddyflinger taught us all the steps.

Cheeerie -pip for now

Thursday, 25 April 2013

Serious Cycle Safety

Good Morning dearest friends, thank you very much for reading my little blog. I do hope you are all very well on this sunny day.

Now as you know, Jemmy Jim Jams packed in her job working as Mafia Godmother but after years of being in charge of The Business she couldn't let go completely. She hopped off up the hill to visit Tatty Mudflingers  Barn to see how the Potato Schnappsie fuel supply was holding up.

As she was flapping along in her bell-bottom trouseys and bright yellow flip flops she found some of those techno music gadgets in the grass. She knew it belonged to The Piglet Possy but before returning it she had a little listen through the headphones. It was that Piglet Rap Rubbish that gets on my whiskers but Jemmy likes it!

It was then she spotted an old green bike that had been flung in the hedge. It was a bit cream-crackered thought Jemmy but she hadn't been on a bike since she was a little bunnykins so she leapt on it and shot off all wobbly and clankin' at speed.

Ohhh dearie me......

She was rumbling along pretty rapido when Whoaaa- an ice cream van came dingley dongley jingly jangly round the corner and Jemmy didn't hear it coz she was listening to the Rap Music. She screeched on the brakes and her yellow flip flop caught in the spokes and her fluffy bunny bum flew over her flappy black ear'oles.

That's where I come in....LOOKING ALL SERIOUS!

Since I'm no longer a Mafia Bodyguard Ive gone back to Nursing. Ive been looking after Jemmy who has got some bruises and a big patch on her bum! She knows she was a foolish ol' rabbit so she has asked from her bed for Gizzy Whizzie to tell you all the following....

If you acquire an old bike DON'T GET ON IT without buying a CRASH HELMET!
Also make sure the seat, handlebars and wheels are all set right for your height and everything is tight and the chains nice n oiled!

BE SEEN, where something BRIGHT and don't forget you need LIGHTS.

FLIP FLOPS are no good so wear your boots and don't listen to music when your hairin' along!

Keep your paws on the handlebars but don't forget to do hand signals coz folks ain't psychic about which way you are swerving!

There endeth the lesson. HAPPY CYCLING !!!! Ta Taaa

Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Bubble Bother

(I cant speak, Ive borrowed Gizzy Whiziz snorkle...slight bother with the bubbles)

Monday, 8 April 2013

Gizzy's Garage

Hello dearest friends, I do hope you are all happy and well.
A battered ol' VW Beetle car was dropped off at Gizzy Whizzie's Garage the other day for repair. Although little Giz is a great merchanic and optimistic...we had to agree with her this ol' banger was too far gawn.

Thursday, 14 March 2013

Red Feathers and a Hooly-Hooly Skirt

Good Afternoon dearest friends of Idgie the Cat.
Todays little blog is dedicated to three important women who have stopped me from falling in the treacle over the years by tuning into my humour. Laughter is key !
This is for CEWB, CRO and SP who found this song....I present to you Boo Boo Massoue the Mystical Bunny Leader of the Moon Worshipping Bongo Bunny Tribe.
Red Feathers and a Hooly - Hooly Skirt ( Written by Bob Merril 1952)

(She wears red feathers and a hooly-hooly skirt)
(She wears red feathers and a hooly-hooly skirt)
She lives on just cokey-nuts and fish from the sea
A rose in her hair, a gleam in her eyes
And love in her heart for me

I work in a London bank, respectable position
From nine to three they serve you tea
But ruin your disposition
Each night of music calls, rather lost I seem
And once a pearl of a native girl came smilin' right at me

She wears red feathers and a hooly-hooly skirt
She wears red feathers and a hooly-hooly skirt
She lives on just cokey-nuts and fish from the sea
A rose in her hair, a gleam in her eyes
And love in her heart for me

Goodbye to the London bank, I started in a-sailin'
The fourteenth day from Mandalay I spied her from the railin'
She knew I was on my way, waited, and was true
She said "You son of an Englishman, I've dreamed each night of you"

She wears red feathers and a hooly-hooly skirt
She wears red feathers and a hooly-hooly skirt
She lives on just cokey-nuts and fish from the sea
A rose in her hair, a gleam in her eyes
And love in her heart for me

I went to her Ma and Pa and said I loved her only
And they both said we could be wed, oh, what a ceremony
An elephant brought her in, placed her by my side
While six baboons got out bassoons and played "Here Comes the Bride"

I'm back here in London town and, though it may sound silly
She's here with me and you should see us walk down Picadilly
The boys at the London bank kinda hold their breath
She sits with me and sips her tea which tickles them to death

She wears red feathers and a hooly-hooly skirt
She wears red feathers and a hooly-hooly skirt
She lives on just cokey-nuts and fish from the sea
A rose in her hair, a gleam in her eyes
And love (and love) in her heart (in her heart) for me

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Behold the Tortoise

Good Afternoon dearest blog readers, I hope you are all well and keeping warm.

Jemmy and I went to see Professor Atticus today, he is very wise and makes a lovely cup of tea.

Due to Jemmy quitting Mafia work she no longer needed a tabby cat bouncer so I thought Atticus could give me some kind of advice on what to do now I didn't have to protect the ol rabbit...

Atti finished his tea and took me by the paw up the garden. He said..

"Idgie - Behold the tortoise".....

I looked a bit puzzled, I mean the tortoise was asleep!

Atticus put some lettuce leaves out and we waited.....Zzzz....then dear friends the tortoise woke up..

Atticus put his paw on my head and said...

"The tortoise makes progress only when he sticks his neck out."

With that we went back indoors and to be true to you dear friends, although I'm grateful for the lesson - I still don't know what I'm going to do!

Ta Ta for now


Leap...and the will appear (Zen)