Royal Wedding

Good Afternoon to you all...what an exciting day!!

Yesterday Jemmy & I were given a Secret Mission to complete. I had to go to Buckingham Palace last night to meet The Queens Corgies by the back door...

It has been a very important job for generations that a chief taster gets to try samples of all that is to be consumed by the Royal Family at Buckingham Palace and I was selected as part of a Security Operation.
I tried jelly and ice cream, chicken and pies and volauvents..etc....

....but there was more than a hic-up.

I was so enthusiastic about the security job I started to eat the top tier of the Royal Wedding Cake! The Queens Corgies were distraught at first but recovered quickly as one must remain CALM in Crisis!

Luckily they had a Sainzboz Fruit Cake down in the kitchens and one of the Corgies had luckily got a Michelin Star in Icing decoration so my woolly bottom was saved!

I managed to hitch a lift down to Westminster with the Cavalry after an eventful food tasting. I hid under The King of Tonga's seat and kept in close communication with Jemmy.

She was disguised as a flower arrangement in Westminster Abbey and was keeping close surveillance for anyone from the Criminal Underworld and reporting back to the Chief of Police. Normally, this would be an act of 'grassing' but Jemmy had done a very special secret deal with the RAF in return for our security work.....

The Wedding and the security job was a fantastic success and Catherine was beautiful and the dress stunning -  Prince William looked so smart, I wiped away a little happy tear.

Jemmy & I hitched a lift back to Buckingham Palace with the Bridesmaids.

Jemmy signaled with her flag that something great was about to happen, the deal she had done with the RAF was for Gizzy Whizzie to have free expert flying lessons!

Congratulations!!

Cheerie-Pip and Bless you all.

V.I.P. Woofet Visitors

....Good Evening dear friends...I hope you are all tickerty boo!

I'm typing to you top secret like n hush hush sneaky hush hush ...

Shhhh I'm sworn to secrecy but I can tell you this coz its you.....

Jemmy Jim Jams and I got visited today by two very big and important dogs. We wore dark glasses so they couldn't recognise us as one was the Chief of Police Mascot and the other was RAF Squadron Leader.

I was all up for legging it to be true as I thought it was coz of all that stash of catnip and we was gonna get arrested and thrown in a cattery but Jem said to act cool.. (gulp)

ACT COOL!! ??? She sez to me she's gonna handle all the talking and if there was any bother they wouldn't stand a chance against us two in a fight!??? Honestly dear Blog Readers that Rabbit is not 'The Godmother' Mafia Rabbit for nothing, she's tough as a pickled n toasted conker!

They said they were prepared to kindly turn a blind eye to the the strange explosions, kipper & bra thieving and other odd goings on if they could borrow our services ...so ...

That's all I can say for now...but tune in tomorrow if you're curious!

Sleep Well  and Cheerie-Pip.

Sizzling Sixth Sense

Good Evening dear friendly folk, do hope you are all tickerty-boo.

Now, I expect you know that us Moggies have a Sixth Sense and I know when somethings gonna kick off by the twangy state of my whiskers. I know a storm is coming for example and I can pin point a kipper cooking on a large housing estate.

I picked up on the funny ol' vibes, my whiskers twangy as banjo strings. I just knew 'er what feeds me was all hair, red faced n gritted gnashers behind the wheel coming home from the office at the treacle mines.

(Violin music now....)

If your best friend or the one what loves n feeds you was in a place where the windows had been fused shut due to the traffic noise n fumes...the temperature is 30 inside and no air conditioning and everyone's melting...you'd send them some sympathetic vibes wouldnt you!?

(Right..CUT THE VIOLINS..they get up my nose!)


ACTION!

Yesterday was Special Indian Head Massage, today its Peppermint Foot Cream, pongs real nice, a bit of the ol' reflexology larky on the paws is a brilliant way to get some peace and keeps 'er out of 'The Home for the Bewildered'.

Bless you all, stay cool n minty - Good Night.

Indian Head Massage

Good Evening to you all dear blog readers and thank you very much for popping in...

Well...'er what feeds me had to go to work today and she has come home very tired ZZZzzzz

It's very important indeed that she doesn't get beyond frazzled and end up in the Home for the Bewildered, as it could mess up my dinner time table.

So I gave her a special Indian Head Massage...I highly recommend it for the frazzled n those teetering on the edge of world bewilderment. Bless you & sleep well in your nesting materials.

Cheerie pip until next time.

Crazy Dog

Good Morning dear friends, I do hope you are having a very relaxing holiday...

We were all snoozing in the tulips ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz...and all was peaceful and as I've said before this is a time to WATCH YOUR WHISKERS ...

The Home for the Bewildered is just up the road and one of the dogs with bone separation issues had not taken his daisy dust tea medicine and leapt over the fence and was bounding in and out of the gardens, weaving down the roads and all frazzle haired and saliva..." Wherez me bone...Wherez me bone", he barked all over the place...
Every sleepy woolly, bird & bug for a mile around dived for cover. Tatty Muckflinger and Atticus leapt up on the roof of a beat up car and Gizzy scrambled up onto a motorbike, I shot up on top of a wheelie bin and we waited until the swirly whirly boogle eyed hound had gawn! My poor ol' ticker pounding ...I checked round n about to make sure all the Kit-Kat Gang were safe and then we heard a faint...HELP!!
A small marmalade kitten called Angus had zoomed up a tree and gone so high he could not get down. He wobbled and cried and we tried to talk him down the swingy branches. Jemmy would have known what to do but she had gawn out for the day to go clay shooting. There was only one thing left to do...I had to go get 'er what feeds me...

'Er had just had her breakfast of boiled eggs n soldiers and she understands my meooowin and frantic waving so came leggin it in her action wellies with a chair.

Little Angus was all hot and thirsty but made it back to earth safely.

Take good care all of you and cheerie-pip.

The Easter Bunny

Good Morning dear friends and HAPPY EASTER to you all....and it is indeed a Happy Easter due to the quick actions of ‘Hav-a-go’ Hare and ‘The Godmother Rabbit’,  Jemmy Jim Jams.

The sun had just gawn down so it was all a glowy n sillohettey in the fields ...the hedgerows a buzzing n verdant by day was now still as all the buzzers n busiers had gawn to their nesting materials. Jemmy and I was just hopping on home to our bedding, when through the long wavy grass burst out ‘Have-a go' Hare all bouncy n flustered up in his boxing gloves n boots.

“Jemmy! Sum ‘ink real bad ‘appening  up on The Clumps - You gotta come now n prevent a disaster.”

Jemmy n I never ever went up to The Clumps Woodland after dark, not coz we are scared or nuffink but coz there was some funny Primitive Tribe of Wild Brown Rabbits who was into Ancient Magic n Mystical Moon Worship.

We crawled up the hill commando like which I’m ever so good at and we peered through a bramble thicket so see all the wild rabbits hopping about n wailing at the moon. What a blinkin’ racket and weird, I’d just about had enough of the weird chanting n was shuffling my woolly behind round to creep away when it all went silent. The Elder Rabbit spoke to all his Tribe, “ let us PRAY to the Moon Goddess to send The Great White Easter Rabbit to save us all from a Massacre, them Humanbean Snarers n Lampers are all in the pub but will be a coming soon up the hill to do for us!”.  There was lots of crying and wailing and the baby brown bunnies hid in the big bunnies fur. Pray now and bring your clover n new spring shoots to the alter for the Moon Goddess. Have Faith that ‘ The Great White Rabbit’ will come and Save us from the Easter Menu at the pub!

“See told you”, sez 'Hav-a-go' Hare, them wild ol’ bunnies think gifts to the Moon Goddess is gonna stop them Snarers n Lampers at The Poachers Pot Pub coming up the Clumps n duffing um all in.

“Not on my Manor!”, sez Jem!

In a Flash of a whisker  ‘The Old Kit Kat Gang’ was assembled and all of Jems Mafia contacts on the patch.  Jems gets up on a straw bale wearing her bowler  and holding her violin case which is a signal that something BIG is gonna kick off...Jem says dramatically to us all...

”We shall fight on the Beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender....”

As part of Gizzy Whizzies Project she had been developing ejector seats and parachutes using Atticus designs  and the three Parachute packs had been made but the mechanism for being fired into the sky was not full proof yet but it was now an Emergency. The Kit-Kat Gang had acquired a Big Union Jack Bra from the Rectory washing line and we used it to propel Jemmy , Gizzy and I into the air so we could parachute down to The Poachers Pot pub.  I threaded mouldy tatties up the exhaust pipes of the waggons n Jem pumped schnappsie into the beer lines. Gizzy removed all the landrover lamp bulbs.

Whilst we were there, Digger the Mole took all that could  handle schanappsie explosives down to the road from the Pub to The Clumps to blow gigantic potholes in to the tarmac. The Rest of The Kit Kat Gang put Council Flood Warning signs up and Tree Fallen & Gas Leak signs to deter humanbeans.

It was hectic but dear blog readers...The Great White Rabbit did come to the Rescue ...not exactly beamed from the Moon Goddess but all lives were saved and Easter is a happy day for one and all!

Have a loverly Easter break, go safe on your paws and cheerie-pip till next time.. 

Atticus and the Telescope

Good Morning dear friends, what a beautiful sunny day and it's a Bank Holiday so 'er what feeds me is quite chirpy and twinkerly peepered!

Last night I got home extremely late and 'er wasn't happy as she had even more grey hairs and that frazzled expression of worry, which I am sorry about coz I know she loves me BIG!!

I had such a great evening dearest blog readers as I eventually arrived at Atticus' House which is really an old Observatory. He draws lots and lots of charts and maps not just of the stars but of machines and buildings too. He always says ..." Lets have a nice cuppa tea young Idgie" which is always a jolly good start to conversation don't you reckon?

He always lets me have a sweeping view of the Universe with the giganticus telescope as I got high hopes of spotting a UFO. I'm not that hot-pawed at moving the telescope but Atticus pointed out a star constellation called 'The Big Kipper'. Then, I saw a bright big yellow planet. Atticus and I got very excited indeed. He was looking all through his books and charts and thought it very mysterious that it was so low on the horizon. I twizzled the focus and I nearly fell off my cushion as this planet had its name written on it in red letters. Atticus was scratching his head all bewildered like and asked me to read it out. ..I proudly announced I'd discovered the Planet Lidl! Atticus was chuckling as I'd focused in on a supermarket Logo! Atticus very kindly patted my woolly head and said all this talk of Big Kippers had made him hungry and asked if I'd like to join him for a fishy snaffling....yum yum.

It was ever so late when I left with the Blue Prints for Jemmy.

Have a loverly bank holiday and Cheerie Pip till next time.