Sochi - Animal Winter Olympics

Good Afternoon dearest friends, I do hope you are all very well and keeping your paws warm.

I am sorry to have been off the whisker waves but Jemmy Jim Jams announced out of the blue that she had entered all of us into the Sochi Winter Olympics....

As you can imagine this came as rather a shock and the first problem to arise was the issue of equipment.

As you can see Gizzy Whizzie has been selected for the Skeleton which as you know is a very fast winter slide so she was given a colander helmet, a woolly tank top and a coffee tray.

Atticus who is used to things going rapidly downhill was selected to do the Alpine Downhill Event.

He has floorboard skis and two drumsticks for ski poles.The lycra outfit that Jemmy found for him did not go down too well with the old cat so he has borrowed Lavinia's pink fleece onsie and her oven gloves.

Jemmy is borrowing the floorboard skis to take part in the Biathlon which is cross country skiing and rifle shooting, unfortunately Jem could only get a Tommy Gun online which may not be accepted as a substitute.

 As for me dear readers, I found out I am on the Curling Team. That did vex me for a while as I had fearful bother trying to catch a Curlew for this event. This bird just doesn't want to play Curling with me. As you know I am a team player but I'm wondering if Jemmy may let me do commentating instead with Clare Balding.

As for dear ol 'Tatty Mudflinger....

He was told to find us a four cat Bobsleigh. He looked everywhere and ended up 'converting' a council wheelie bin. As you can tell Jemmy is going to have a good think about how to get us some proper kit.

She doesn't want to look daft in front of the Russian Mafia rabbits but mostly she wants to impress Katya Hoppenorf who will be in the figure skating so I'm expecting new kit soon.

Righty o I'm off to feed the Curlew.

Watch your whiskers out there and Ta-Taa for now.

Christmas Muddle

Good Morning dearest blog readers, I do hope you are all very well?

I have been busy taking care of Atticus, as he has caught a cold and has a big red nose. Tatty made him a batch of 'Special' Sloe Juice that can be warmed up and fights off the dreaded lurgy. Boo Boo Massou also sent him a berry syrup - so don't you worry, the ol chappy will soon be better!

Whilst I was finding some more tissues for Atticus there was a little rat-a-tat-tat at the door. On the doorstep was Angus the Marmalade Kitten with his school satchel looking a bit anxious. His teacher had asked the class to find out for home work what Christmas is, so Angus came to see Atticus to find out. Atticus is very smart indeed and can answer everything on Mastermind and University Challenge!

His little face fell when I told him Atticus was not very well. But I seemed to remember Christmas was something to do with a baby being born in a field of mangetout, under a bright star and some shepherds came and washed their socks at night near by. Angus looked very confused as he didn't know what mangetout was, so I explained they were classy peas. I suggested to Angus to go to speak to Boo Boo Massou the  Mystical spiritual leader of the Bongo Drumming Bunnies.

Boo Boo Massou was very happy to see little Angus up at 'The Clumps' woodland. All the bongo drumming bunnies had been making holly leaf decorations for their coming Yule Festival, they had collected mistletoe and oranges and were excited about the coming winter solstice feast and the rebirth of the new sun. There was a lot of skipping n hopping and the testing of hot spicy cider. Angus was very confused, the bunnies knew nothing about the baby and the shepherds washing their socks in a field of mangetout and Boo Boo suggested he go straight to Jemmy Jim Jams who is Angus' Godmother.

Jemmy Jim Jams was very busy indeed but always has time for little Angus and was over the moon to help him with his homework on the subject of Christmas. Angus explained about the baby in the mangetout and Jemmy didn't know about that but as soon as Angus mentioned Shepherds she got very excited and took Angus into the warehouse ( Tatty Mudflingers Barn!) - "It's all about  business opportunity dear boy and making of the ol crinkly cabbage!" said Jemmy all bouncy and animated.

Jemmy said she was taking a lot of stuff down Shepherds Bush Market to sell for Christmas, she had a big stash of x-boxes, play stations and i-phones.  She also had sacks of mistletoe and holly wreaths that the bunnies from the clumps knocked out for her at discount price. Angus was so happy to at last find someone who knew about Christmas! He made lots of notes and thanked Jemmy very much.

On his way home he could hear Aunty Gizzy Whizzy in the garage riveting an old banger car so he popped in to say hello.

They had a cup of tea and Angus told Gizzy all about the very confusing homework. Gizzy scratched her little fluffy head as she was sure something important had been forgotten. Slurping on their tea Gizzy remembered about the big turkey, the elves and Father Christmas ...then it came to her, she remembered - - Three kings who travelled in heavy traffic to a stable full of straw where there was a baby in a bed of mangetout or something. The Kings had come with gifts from the Shepherds Bush Market for the baby but were made to stay outside because they were smoking camels. Angus looked at his homework notes and sighed.

Lets all hope that dear ol Atticus gets better soon.

The Business

Good Evening dearest blog readers,

I do hope you are all tickerty-boo and keeping your paws dry.

We have been very busy indeed as Jemmy Jim Jams and the Kit Kat Gang have gone into the art business with 'er what feeds me. 

We have got our first craft fair on Sunday so 'er had a business meeting with Jemmy where they agreed on important things like tea breaks, biscuits and who was doing what.

I am in charge of supplies and make sure we have plenty of jammy biccies...and as you can see below I collect the mount board which I take to Atticus for cutting.

Atti is a fast learner and has taught himself to cut mounts which takes a lot of concentration and paw and eyeball  precision.

 He is the best at doing sums and measuring right to the whisker line, he let me have a try - Atti said that my bevel cuts were banana swoops which was a little too modern and free style. 

Little Gizzy Whizzy cleans the  frame glass, she sticks her tongue out when she is polishing and nobody knows why.

Jemmy Jim Jams then does all the quality checking. When we first started she found cat fluff , biccy crumbs and jam on the mounts and she was hopping mad (gulp!) As you can imagine its not a good idea to rattle the ol rabbit who now wears glasses for checking!

Due to Jemmy being deadly at checking our work  the Rejects desk is now very quiet indeed...

In fact Tatty Mudflinger hasn't had any Rejects passed to him so he has fallen fast asleep...

Well, I must be off to my nest now, wish us all luck for Sundays Craft Fair, if we do well it will mean kippers for breakfast so do cross your paws that we get some sales.

Watch your whiskers out there and a very good night to you all.

Sherbert's Schnappsi

Happy Halloween dearest friends, I do hope you are all very well and enjoying your evening.

I am a little bit fluffed out tonight as it was all scary drama up at Tatty Mudflinger's Barn. There's all these witchy ghost stories going on tonight but I tell you dearest blog readers this true story will put your whiskers all a twangy!

Tatty had carved some pumpkin lanterns and invited us to the unveiling of the new Halloween batch of Tatty Schnappsi.  During the syphoning off process there was a small leak so Tatty collected the spill in a metal bucket which he placed by the barn door.

Everyone had arrived at the barn and Sherbert the Racehorse inquisitively trotted in from the field. He was a bit thirsty so he casually and unwittingly had a little sipsey from the schnappsi bucket !

Suddenly Sherbert started to glow radio active green and a huge blasting energy surge radiated out from his body sending everyone off balance with paws in the air. Terrifyingly we could see his skeleton! Horror oh horror!!

The radioactive green glow dissipated as fast as it had arrived and I scrambled up to find poor Sherbert on his back with his legs galloping along and his hair all on end.

Everyone ran to his aid and talk about LUCKY....thank our lucky stars as Boo Boo Massou the Mystical Healer and Leader of the Moon Worshipping Bunnies had some Rescue Remedy. Sherbert managed to have a glug and it turned his tongue green!

As if by magic his legs stopped galloping and I'm relieved to report he was soon feeling completely better.

Clearly the Schnappsie was more lethal than the first batch!

Do have a safe and happy Halloween, but I think after all this drama, I'm going to scamper off to my nest. Good night.

Trick or Treat

Good evening dearest friends, I do hope you are all safe and warm in your fluffy warm nests. Batten down the hatches tonight as there is going to be a lot of wind and its got nothing to do with Deirdre the Goat this time!

I'm afraid to say some real ruffians turned up on our patch. They played some nasty trick or treat pranks and lobbed eggs and set off bangers. What they didn't know was Sebby Coo Coo the mafia racing pigeon spotted um with his little beadie birdie eyeballs and flapped pronto to Jemmy Jim Jams.

Poor old Atticus was very frightened of them knocking at his door. At first, the dear ol moggy thought they just wanted candy chews and lollies but they demanded cider and schnapsie, so Atti shut the door quick. It shook the elderly ol mog up, he got the jitters and nearly spilt his bedtime coco.

As soon as Jemmy knew what was going on she was furious (gulp) - these thugs had to be taught a lesson she said so her philosophy is to fight fire with fire...or call in the Kit Kat Gang and our own rent-a-mob..the Piglet Possy!

Soon Atti felt much better surrounded by his friends and Jemmy revealed her Revenge Plot!

Gizzy Whizzy got a bucket of sticky oil from her garage and I skipperty skipped up to the farm and gathered a sack full of turkey and chicken feathers.

When Lavinia found out that poor Atticus had been terrorised she gladly sent Tatty off with some old dust sheets.

The next evening the thugs turned up at Atticus' door demanding money and shouting and banging...

Gizzy leapt out the bushes and flung the sticky oil over them and I showered them in feathers! Suddenly Atticus' door was flung open by Jemmy Jims Jams and a stampede of wailing ghosts all piled out and put the fear of piglet hell into them!

As they fled Sebby Coo Coo dive bombed them and pigeon pooped on their heads!

Well...serves the rotters right! They ran, ran, ran!! Ha Haaaaaa.

 Atticus and all the little animals came outside and everyone had candy sweets and lollies.

Watch your whiskers out there and Ta Ta for now.

Crazy Cake Mix

Good Morning dearest friends,

I do hope you are all very well and keeping your paws warm, its gone mighty nippy so you want to scamper along pretty quick.

Settle with a cuppa tea for a little while and I'll tell you what happened up at Tatty Mudflingers Farm.

Lavinia Mudflinger helps to run the Rural Thrift Club and one of the ladies in the club gave a jug of cake mix to try out on Tatty and the marmalade kittens.

Lavinia put the mix in the fridge over night but in the morning it was found to be frothing and gurgling. It seemed to be growing so Lavinia split the mixture into a bowl. Well dear friends this mixture seemed to keep bubbling up and growing and growing and Lavinia was running out of containers.

 

Tatty put some mix in a bucket and took it out to the barn where it continued to grow!

 

Lavinia made some rock cakes with the mixture and they turned out to be so rock hard Tatty invited the kittens Godmother - Jemmy Jim-Jams over for a game of cricket...

 

 

Here is Tatty Mudflinger about to throw a rock cake over his hat to Jemmy.

 

 

Jemmy whacked the rock cake really hard and it was so hard the vibration of the impact to the  bat travelled up to her gnashers and her whiskers went twangy!

 

Caw bloomin' eck thought Jemmy, these rock cakes are dangerous!

 

Jemmy got on the blower to the Ministry of Defence as she thought the RAF might fancy firing them as a test weapon but the receptionist said they wouldn't do business with bunnies.

 

Well dear friends that was a bit of a knock to the ol rabbit but never to be disheartened for long!

 

 

Jem rang lots of folk and eventually she talked to a Garden Gnome specialist in Germany. He said due to the very cold winters the Gnomes cracked easily and he was extremely keen to purchase Jems 'Indestructible Winter Gnome Mix'....

 

Ha Haaa!!

 

Well dear blog readers, you have to hand it to the ol' rabbit boss - improvising and determination is key in business!

 

Never give up and watch your whiskers out there.

 

Ta Taaaa

 

 

 

 

 

Mouse Council Service Announcement

Greetings dearest blog readers,

I got a little bit lost last night due to the return of the autumnal mists - I was scampering tabby quick paw across the fields trying to get home for supper when I bumped into to a couple of field mice called Erol and Teggy. They were  putting up warning signs by very poisonous mushrooms. They asked me to make a Mouse Council Service Announcement on this blog as apparently a lot of little mice tune into my whisker waves.

 

The trouble all kicked off last Autumn you see when some mad ol' hippy mice went and had big nibblings of a Fly Agaric Mushroom. I know its horrible dear friends but Im sorry to say they got done in! It caused a right ol' kafluffle and a big ol' stink I can tell you. Due to the mousie out-cry the Mouse Council have got Erol and Teggy  putting up these warning signs.

 

In the past baby mice were read stories about fairies and gnomes that sat on these mushrooms making them seem all innocent, sweet n fluffsey......but truth is they are bloomin' deadly!

 

Whilst I was nattering to Erol and Teggy they spotted some Sulphur Tuft mushrooms so they quickly whacked another sign in with Erol's mallet.

 

 

 

Obviously they are only little mice with tiny legs so they don't cover a large area so that's why they asked me to tell you all about it and show you their pictures.

 

Watch your whiskers out there and I'll be broadcasting again soon  - Taa Taaa.